DO I KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO?

I say a yes and a no.

Someone I don't know and haven't met personally sent me a message in Friendster telling me that he's a bit jealous that I have my 'to do list' and I am certain of what I want in life. Plus, the pictures I have of my trips in the Philippines, in Asia and in US made him amazed and envy. He, on the other hand, is not certain of what he wants in his life. He said my profile made him ponder on what he wants in my life.

Now, here's what he doesn't know.

I started my career with Thomson as a data analyst. I stayed with the company for 3 and a half years. And from Manila, I moved to New York to work as a data quality analyst with PricewaterhouseCoopers. But is this the career path I really want to follow? A career in finance? Most people who are close to me tell always tell me that I'm in the wrong job and that I should be in a job related to performing, public relations or media. Now, that Friendster guy made me think huh. Yes, I would really love to have a job in another field. But it's too risky for me. The arts business is not easy to penetrate. One should be extremely talented so people will pay much attention to you. Mediocrity is not acceptable. I know I'm into the arts: I can dance, sing, choreograph, make people laugh and think creatively. But I'm scared. Yes, I am very very scared. I could not risk a shift from finance to arts just to follow my passion. There are hundreds of extremely talented people out there, even thousands. And I don't know if my talent is at par with them, if not greater. (I hate you Mr. Friendster!!! You bring out my frustrations) But then, I'm not complaining here. My job is very high paying. But do I really love my job? That is the BIG question. As they say, find a job that you love to do most and you'll never have to WORK a day in your life.


There are just things I need to consider: financial stability, career growth and my family.

But I make it a point that I pour out my love for the art. I'm taking Latin dance class in Times Square. I sing in weddings and parties. I choreograph dance presentations. I watch fashion related events and beauty pageants. I watch Broadway musicals.


Somehow I wish I have the courage to make a career shift. Somehow I wish I'd be the one on Broadway stage performing. Somehow I wish I'm brave enough. I wish… Sigh...

P.S. Hey Mr. Friendster Guy, you made me cry!!!!!! Thanks for giving me a little courage. It's brave enough for me to write about this.