WHEN CUPID SHOOTS THE WRONG HEARTS

How could forbidden love be a perfect affair? While I was listening to the song “Love me for what I am”, bittersweet memories of my boyfriend, Paulo, came into my mind. The song’s powerful lyrics revealed how our forbidden love came to be. The moments that Paulo and I shared together would never be forgotten. They were the treasures I could never afford to exchange. But most of all, my relationship with Paulo made me realize that not only was I secure in his arms but also that I am accepted by my parents for what I really am.

“We fell in love on the first night that we met.” As Paulo was holding and squeezing my hands, he came nearer and whispered words in my ears. It was New Year but all I could hear was nothing…. nothing but the words “I LOVE YOU” that kept reverberating in my ears. As soon as the firecracker were about to explode, I tried to yell but all that came out was air with no sound. That was how raw my emotion was --- indescribable, ineffable --- as silent as the New Year’s celebration spoke. My emotions then were so silent --- yet very eloquent --- that they were only comparable to describing to a blind man since birth the color of the sky. People continued to celebrate the New Year with their firecrackers, noise barrage and torotot. It was as if the joy of the people celebrating New Year was dedicated to the joy Paulo and I were feeling that very moment. Paulo and I smiled at each other celebrating our new start, a new life together.

“Together we’ve been happy, I have very few regrets” From then on, excitement filled my days every time I went home after my exhausting whole day class. My daily routine abruptly changed from the usual home-school-home to home-school-home-kanto. I dramatically adjusted my schedule and heartily gave time to be with Paulo. After every dinner, I groomed myself and then went to the kanto. The fun started with my neighbors and cousins. We gathered every night to talk about what happened for the day and to crack jokes. One night, a memorable incident happened. While the group was laughing and chatting, I felt something that I couldn’t understand. My feet started to tremble and the earth suddenly moved. Paulo slowly moved towards me. He held my hand, put it in his lap and gently caressed it. Paulo stroked his index finger on my palm. My neighbors laughed boisterously on the joke my cousin had told. The stroking continued as it gently spelled the words “I LOVE YOU”. Cupid’s arrow has struck my heart. I wondered why the arrow didn’t kill me. The world started to revolve faster, faster than I could endure. The uniqueness of Paulo’s way of expressing his feelings impressed me more. Paulo’s head rested on my shoulders. I silently sang, a song of rejoice and happiness. Paulo turned his head and voila, he gave me a kiss. At that very moment a pair of wings sprung up my back, while a magnificent and extremely blinding aura engulfed me to the soul, and brought me to what they call heaven. I was awestruck.

“The ordinary problems have not been hard to face. But lately little changes have been slowly taking place.” It was a beautiful night. The moon shadows were hugging the glistening evening sea. We sat on the sea wall. Paulo’s hand embraced me tightly that no air could even pass through. We talked about so many things especially of my going to Manila for my studies. He asked me not to go to Manila and I explained to him my reason. But in the back of my mind, I wanted to stay and be with him forever. He begged me as if he wanted to kneel before me in order for me to give in to his persuasion. Tears began to fall from his eyes. I was tempted to say yes but I could not. The bright moon enlightened me. Tears also began to fall from my eyes. His lips touched the tip of my nose, then his lips moved down. He kissed me gently, then hugged me. The twist and turns inside my lips were so passionate. The cold wind breeze from the sea started to blow. We continued to kiss and then, he intentionally bit my tongue. We laughed stood up and went home for dinner. We bid goodbye to each other. He went to his house and I continued a few steps and then I arrived home. My parents and younger brother were there. But there was some kind of unreasonable silence that seemed inevitable for me to take for granted. I was puzzled with the kind of expression they were showing. I thought that it was just a bad day for my parents. After they had finished eating their dinner, my parents went up to the master’s bedroom still quiet. I finished eating my dinner with such enthusiasm looking on to the not-too-distant tomorrow that awaits Paulo and me. No one could ever stop me from being happy that night. As I was finishing my glass of water, my father called me and requested me to come up to the bedroom. I still felt happy that time thinking they were to congratulate me for my scholarship in the Ateneo. I smiled at them. And my father started to talk and asked me the question I never imagined I will hear from him, “Totoo bang boyfriend mo ‘yan si Paulo?” I felt the world was starting to crumble, and the whole world was blaming me all for it. The persons I never expected to know about my relationship with Paulo began questioning me about it. And it started to rain outside, just like it was raining inside me --- within my very soul. The silence that I uttered said it all about the truth. My father repeated that unexpected question. There was silence in the room. “Jong, hindi kita pinapagalitan. Tinatanong ko lang kung totoo ba.” As I was crying, my father held his tee shirt and stretched it to gently wipe the tears that fell from my father’s weary eyes.

“You’ve got to love me for what I am for simply being me”, the song continued while I was staring closely at our picture, Paulo and I together, resembling sweet lovers who can never be torn apart. How I wish Paulo was here beside me hugging me, kissing me and biting my tongue as he always did. In his arms, I felt the heat of his love embracing me. Then, a tear gently rolled down on my pale cheeks.

If not for Paulo, I would not have known the essence of being loved not only by him but, most importantly, also by my parents.

The moments… the love… the tears… attested it all.

THE LOVE STORY OF JORY RIVERA & MARCO PAULO ALIPIO