TIME WAITS FOR NO MAN BUT TRUE LOVE CAN WAIT FOREVER

It was dark and gloomy outside as the rain started to pour. I was staring closely at the raindrop slowly streaming down the leaf, gently moving to reach the tip of the leaf, helplessly hanging, rapidly falling down the thirsty soil, bursting out as it reached the ground and disappearing from my very sight. Hearing the sound of the wind blowing and feeling the cold breeze touch my cheeks, I swayed the rocking chair to the beat of my heart skipping.

The swaying continued until I heard the voice of a little girl that caught my attention. Her question woke me up completely from my half-asleep state.

“Lolo, why are you sad?” My brother’s granddaughter repeated her question. I held her tiny hands tightly and put my face near her innocent angelic face.

“No,” I bravely told her.

“If you’re not sad, then how come I saw you crying?” I embraced the curious kid, carried her in my arms and gently put her on my lap.

“I’m not sad nor lonely, my little girl. Indeed, I’m very happy this very moment. We don’t cry only because we feel hurt and alone but we also cry for we feel loved and important. When you become old and grey, like I am right now, you will finally know why we cry when we are happy.”
The little girl stretched out her hand. I felt her soft palm touching my cheeks and wiping the tears that fell from my eyes. I touched her hair and brushed it with my bare hands.

“Listen closely, my dear little angel. I will tell you a story that almost made my life complete and perfect. Well, almost…”

Memories came rushing into my mind: the endless nights of chatting, the long talks on the phone, the jokes that we both boisterously laughed at, the fears that we both had before meeting each other, the nervousness I had in meeting him for the first time, the moment we hugged each other and finally felt the heat of his love, the time we shared together, the kisses and the hugs on the road, the train and bus rides, the make-over in Malaysia, our one and only picture in Singapore, the drama session and the beauty parade in Penang, the trip to Grand Palace, the dance in Landmark hotel, the shopping for the “pasalubong”, the memorable last night in his room and the last hug I got before leaving Bangkok. It was too fast…. short but filled with those moments worth to be treasured.

“This is a story of a great and unselfish love, little child. Listen to this and remember every detail of it.”

And here it goes, my dear child…

I knew it was him… It was him that I’ve been waiting for… It was him that I’ve been longing for… It was him that I’ve been praying for…

He came into my life when I least expected it. Everything went well with my life until he came and made it perfect and complete.

We started out as cyber friends, constant exchange of posts and emails. We were plainly friends and nothing more. But as everyday passed by, I could feel that there is something more than friendship that I felt for him. I eagerly wait to see his name on my email or his message on the board. I patiently hang around and wait to hear that buzz on my Yahoo Messenger.

It was him who made me look forward for another minute or an hour. I never imagined myself staying awake until wee hours in the morning just to talk and to chat with him. I would stay up to two in the morning in the office, with only my computer giving light in the vicinity. My office was literally empty but deep inside my heart I was filled with so much excitement and love. It was him who completed my night. Then as I lay myself to sleep, I always await the moment I wake up and begin another day with him. And this happened almost everyday….

We were miles apart... we were an hour apart… connected only by the advances of technology. But it did not hinder our relationship to grow. Instead, it made us stronger and bonded the relationship. We have proven everyone wrong, all of them who were against us. It was you and me against the world. But it was you and me who ended up victorious.

We had to move this relationship to another level. Thus, we decided to finally meet. This was the decisive moment that we’ve been waiting for, find out if we would work out when see each other in person. We had our own share of fears. What if one would not like the other when we finally meet??? What if??? How would we say it???? Is it as simple as saying “I don’t like you”??? We had fears that we wasted all our effort and time if this won’t turn out as expected.

Everything was ready, all set for our meeting. I got my passport on a Tuesday, bought my ticket the next day and flew for Bangkok Thursday. I said to myself before that I will never tell anyone of the plans until I have my ticket and passport on hand. And it was surprising indeed that I told my parents and friends of my trip to Bangkok only on the day before my flight. There was nothing stopping me… I’m ready to face all the consequences ahead.

My heart started to beat faster as I boarded the plane for Bangkok. And it got faster as the time progressed. But as soon as the plane landed, there was no turning back. I felt nervous at the same time excited. Different thoughts came flooding into my brain… how would he look like in person??? Will he like me??? Will I like him??? The fears came back. What if one doesn’t like the other???? What if???? Whatever turns out with this meeting, I am ready to accept it.

I got down the plane, walked until I reached the Immigration officers, handed out my passport and continued thinking of what will happen to both us.

Upon reaching the waiting area, I instantly recognize the familiar face of his friend, Jeremy, waving the instantly made personalized welcome banner for me. It made me laugh for a while because all I could see was a blank paper with nothing written on it. But staring closely, the words “welcome to Bangcock” were written. Jeremy took a picture of me and then immediately called “MY BABY” telling him of my arrival. We took the cab and headed straight for my baby’s house. When we arrived, I felt cold and trembling.

Then suddenly the world stopped for a second as I laid my eyes on him for the first time…. the one I’ve been longing to see. And I instantly knew that he was the one… the one who will complete my life…. the one who will make it perfect… the one who I want to share my life with…
We hugged each other tightly. It was that hug that broke all my fears…. the hug that made me feel his love…. the hug that promised me happiness… the hug that made me feel secure…. the hug that brought me the world… the hug that made me knew he was everything to me…

Everything happened so fast when we shared time together. All I could remember are the hugs and kisses while riding the train to Malaysia and the bus to Singapore, the walk under the rainy night to Petronas Twin towers, the hot and delicious noodles we shared for dinner in Penang, the steel rod that almost risked our lives in Bangkok, the long talks before going to sleep, the NESH sign that gave him an idea on what to call me, the song “I will be here” which we both liked, the ala Princess Sarah story of Jeremy, the two shirts of the same color and design that we each had, the boat ride to the Wat Arun temple, the new room he had which he transferred to on the day I arrived, the new friends (Bating, Beget and Jeremy) who were with us during our travel, the movie we watched in MBK and the list goes on… It was until I got my last hug from him and realized that that was the end of our time together. It went too fast, I know. I never paid attention to the time when we had our moments until I was standing in front of the plane.

We were both sad to leave each other. But I have to be back in Manila because I have my work and he has to stay because ha has to make a living in Bangkok. And as he walked his way outside the airport, he stopped, turned his back and gave me that smile… it was the smile that made me think of the future that await both of us… the smile that assured me that everything will be smooth after this… the smile that gave the whole world to me…

I smiled to myself.

We continued to live our separate lives but also knowing we have each other. It was back to what we used to do, the endless nights of chatting and talking on the phone. But it will be different from now on… if before I loved him like loving someone who I have created in my mind… now, I’m loving the very person in him…

Everything went perfect and smooth, as expected, but not until I got an email from him on a bright and sunny Monday. At first I felt so excited to hear some news of how his weekend went by. But I was wrong!!!!!! DEAD WRONG!!!!!

Speechless and crying. It was my initial reaction when I read those words of goodbye, the sudden end of a happy relationship. Although I tried to hold the tears back, I could not resist the force. The emotion was too strong to fight back. My cheeks were wet with the flooding tears that fell from my weary eyes. And I was left with no words to utter that very moment.
What I felt was not pain but emptiness... I felt so empty that everything drastically changed... I felt so empty to set someone free... I felt so empty thinking of the happy memories... I felt so empty knowing I can never call him mine... I felt so empty looking back of those happy days.... I felt so empty that I know I had what I wished for but he belongs to Someone, the One up above, who could provide him real and unending happiness.... I felt so empty... I felt so empty… I felt so empty... I felt so empty...

I knew it was him… It was him that I’ve been waiting for… It was him that I’ve been longing for… It was him that I’ve been praying for… But it was him that I couldn’t have forever…

“But why does it have to be that way, Lolo” The little girl laid her head on my chest and felt my heart beat.

“My dear little girl, it has to end that way. There are things we ourselves have to answer… questions that seem to bother our lives… questions that we need to resolve… but these are questions that we can never fathom…”

“My child, always remember this story. Every time you feel alone and sad, think of this story and feel his great and unselfish love that very same way I felt it. And don’t forget to tell this story to someone you know who is sad, to all who feel unloved and to your grandchildren like what I’ve done to you”

I will continue to love to him.... for loving is the greatest thing I could ever give.... for loving without asking anything in return is noble.... for loving does not stop at any point...

I will wait for him. If he won’t come tomorrow, the next day or maybe next year, then a lifetime is worth waiting for him. But if I can’t have him this lifetime, my soul will patiently wait for lifetimes just to have him. It is the emptiness in my very soul that would continue searching for him. And it will never be tired until I have him, until I can finally call him mine and until I could have him forever…

“One last thing my little girl, I forgot to tell you his name. Just in case you will get to meet him one day, tell him that I’ve been waiting for him. His name is DEVIN MONTEVERDE"